collection.

eat & drink for tomorrow we die we will look our maker in the eye raise a flagon and drink to your health who is he that can conquer himself. did you find it hard to breathe at first were you winded and in disbelief at how much it hurt now that ache's still burning but the world's still turning isn't it. gonna chase away the devil when that song does rise gonna plead the blood gonna plead the blood. she limps on up to the top of the mound and looks at the faltered harvest feels her sweat in the ground & the burn in her nose & the knowing in her guts something's still gonna grow & she aint leaving till it does. cheers to the losses that grew us up killed our pride & filled our cup. open your mouth and sing out your song life is short as the day is long. a toast to the lessons not yet learned and to the trials that will teach them. come tell me your trouble i'm not your answer but i'm a listening ear. who's at fault is not important good intentions lie dormant and we're all to blame while apathy acts like an ally my enemy and i are one and the same. yes the last shall be first of this i am sure. i don't know why the innocents fall while the monsters still stand and our lives blow about like flags on the land.

brooke fraser is a genius.

here'sthestory.

bye 2010 // hi 2011 ;

honestly, i still remeber the start of 2010 so clearly,
can't believe it's already 2011.

i'm excited, but also a little scared. scared of what's to come.

but in the best way possible.
unknown.

i think it's funny how our mind can make such small things, into a huge deal.
life isn't about being perfect & making no mistakes.

it's about building yourself up to deal with the trials you will face.

it's about making mistakes & learning & growing from them.

trust God.

pumped for the one year bible. but actually.

and I will give you
shepherd's after my own heart ;
who will guide you
with knowledge & understanding

jeremiah 3:15

change.

the smallest thing

can make all the difference

love is alive

don't listen to them when they say

you're just a fool, just a fool

to believe you can change the world

and the world's so big

it can break your heart

and you just want to help

not sure where to start

so you close your eyes

and send up a prayer into the dark

this title really has nothing to do with the post.

i saw a shooting star the other day.
i got home from elevate. no body was home, so i decided to get my blanket & lay outside for a bit. it was beaut. i like being home alone.
maybe that's weird, but i actually like being by myself.
although, technically i'm not, coz i'm with Jesus.
just thinking about it, the majority of my time, i spend by myself.
espesh when i'm at home.
i'm either in my room, or at the beach. i guess that's also why i think too much about things, because i have a lot of spare time.
i need a hobby. slash i have a hobby, i like drawing & taking photos..but i think i do that so much that it gets a little boring after a while.


so um, by the end of next week christmas will have been & gone.
crazy.
this year has gone way too fast, i haven't had time to enjoy it.
i mean, sure it's been great, the best year of my life so far. but it's gone so quickly that i never stopped to appreciate the moment when it happened.
life is but a breath.

it's crazy how much you can grow in the space of one year without even realising it!
this year, for me, has been a big year of spiritual growth.
although i still feel i could have gone further.

i guess that's what right now is for.
looking over the year, smiling about the good times, but also deciding what you need to keep working on in 2011.

i'm excited for 2011 :
summer camp.
elevate.
passionate.
kapiti elevate.
conference.





luke 12:32

i wonder.

it's amazing. the whole universe sits in the palm of God's hand.

He is a Big God. He made all the planets & the stars, so beautifully. and yet he also so wonderfully & perfectly made such small things like us.

to think He can do all that & He still cares about me. there's six & a half billion other people in this world, and he still cares about me. little, ordinary me. wow.

p.s. sanks bri foote :)

everything in life happens for a reason. whether you are aware of it or not. and i guess the hard part to that is not knowing the reason. but one day, when you know, you'll look back and remember that you actually asked for it, but it probably just happened in a different, unexpected way. trust.

i wonder why we have tears? what's the significance? i think it's real random. liquid produced from your eyes, when you are hurt or upset, that really have no purpose. random.

sometimes i wish i could have insight to somebody elses mind for a day. just curious to get a different perspective.

.. but then again, maybe not.

life is hard, but it's good. every trial that you face, has an opportunity to overcome.

is a chance to build your testimony, bring glory to God & see people saved.

which is why i am on this earth.

promisedland.

kapiti.
suki.ange.em.berni.jessie.tiana.gracie.jemmy.hayley.sim.dan.keith.tom.josh.

i actually love our kapiti team. so much.
i enjoy how close we all are & how we're like a cute little family.

i find it funny, how at the beginning of this year, i hardly knew any of these people. but God brought us together & we've become such good friends. it's beautiful.
i can't wait for summer hangouts with these guys. i can't wait to see all of them continue to grow.
i think i will probably cry when simeon leaves.

cutsie. jessie just txted me.
12.12am - you are beautiful and make me smile. hope i didn't wake you darling.
this is why i love kapiti. this is why i love jessica.
that's how we do it. cute txts at 12am. cute notes left while they're out. cute little sleepovers. cutecutecute.

i low key think we've got the most legit team. but shhhhh, don't tell anyone :)
our leaders are all so amazing & there's no one i'd rather have leading the way for us. we are so so blessed to have such an incredible team. thanks for everything guys. it's been a great 2010 :)



never change just grow in God.


I LOVE KAPITI

hi blog.

elevate&church. my two favourite places to be in the world. the house of God. my home.
whenever i step into the house of God - no matter how bad my day has been - i can't help but be happy. it's my comfort place,
i wish i could be there every day of the week.
so levi's message last night was actually amazing. he preached it at kapiti on sunday too, but that's the thing i love about God - you can get new things out of a message everytime you hear it. it's like reading your bible too i guess, each time you read it, you get something new out of it.

3 things that really hit me :
- it's not my teacher's fault i'm failing. it's mine. i need to try harder, give it all i've got. get a positive attitude. so on monday i am going to apologise to my science teacher for being a egg.
- gotta treat my mumma better. i don't treat her bad, i love my mummy, but maybe helping out more around the house without complaining & respecting her a little more wouldn't hurt. she does make me mad sometimes, but in the end, who's the one that knows Jesus? she's not going to make a change, that's my job. so in spite of what i think, gotta get my God focus & be Christlike.
-involve Jesus in everything. relationship. even if it's something silly like, walking, shopping, drawing, blogging, etc. everything you do is sowing a seed. don't treat him like a chore, treat him like a bestfriend cause that's what he is. my daddy & my bestfriend :)
be in a constant state of prayer.

jeremiah 1:5-9

bye blog :)

good afternoon, my name is russell ...

hayley antonia killalea.



somebody asked me the other day, if i were to share my testimony, what group of people do i think it would impact most. it got me thinking - your testimony is the story of what god has done in your life. it's the most powerful thing you have at hand. no one can take it away, no one can argue it.
... yet i've never actually legit shared my testimony with anybody before. crazy.

if you're having a bad day and you're dying on the inside, but you put a smile on & act the same as usual, people are going to think none the less, that you've got everything together.
my point to this being, people only see what you choose to show them. how they percieve you, is based on what you show.

...unless it's someone really discerning, they tend to see a little more than you let on, hahaha :P

my life is pretty great. it's not always been this way though. who i am, what i have - is not my own. it's a gift.
i'm not perfect - far from it. but god is doing a pretty good job at fixing the mess i've made.

i can't believe i spent 12 years of my life not knowing god, not believing.
never turning back. thankyou jesus.




africa :)

journey.

life is a journey. it's like running a race. it has it's moments where you are at your peak and you feel on top of the world. it has it's moments where you are cruising along loving the view, but it also has it's moments, where you get hurt and fall down, moments where you stop because you just don't want to carry on anymore - these are the times when God takes your hands, sets you on His feet and says " look, it's going to be okay, i've got you, we're running this race together, give it all you've got because it's going to be so worth it when you finish".
He never said this life would be easy, but he promised it'd be worth it. trust.


i've just been thinking about how far i've come. it's amazing how much you can change in a couple years.
when i first met Jesus, i was this shy, insecure little girl. i felt unimportant, unloved & unworthy. i'd built up all these walls inside, designed to not let anyone in, to keep to myself & believe the things i'd always been told.
i've never been the kind of person to speak my mind and just say whats bothering me, even if you asked, i probably still wouldn't tell you, not the truth anyway. it was always 'yeah, i'm fine'.
i soon learnt that that got me nowhere. i was left bottled up with the same old feelings that were eating away at me.
i started letting people in. i started letting God in. i realised that these people i'd met were actually genuine and that i could trust them and talk to them about what was going on.
it's really in this past year that i have actually grown in God. i look back and think, i wasted so much time trying to sort myself out, when all it took was one little step of faith.
you don't notice the change in yourself until you take a step back and actually think about it.
i was 12 when i started coming to elevate & church. before that i'd never set a foot in a church before. i came knowing nothing, i came from a broken family, a sinful past, i came searching for a home. and that is what i have found.
2 years later, i am living a life set apart, i serve on people care at church nearly every week, i have been baptised, i've shared part of my testimony infront of about 200 people, i am in dsquad. all things that 2 years ago, i never thought i would do. i have learnt to love myself, and others. i have learnt to care for the little things in this world. i have been given faith & confidence. i have been taught to be a better person.
all because one man walked in when everyone else walked out. one man believed in me when i didn't even believe in myself. the one man who died that he would gain my love.
i'm not perfect and life still has it's bumps, but i sure am a heck of a lot happier.
i am on my journey, the pathway to something incredible and this is only the beginning. i will see my friends and family saved, i will be a catalyst for change in my highschool, i will see the impossible become possible. and i will be a part of all of it.
it excites me to think that i have learnt all this & much more in just a couple years. i've got a whole life ahead of me, full of plans that i cannot even begin to comprehend. a life with purpose, a life with hope. i have so much further to go, and so much more to learn. it's going to be hard, but God breaks you down to break through, and i'm looking forward to seeing the end result.

romans 6:5-8
:)

so i was thinking . . .

if you had to lose one sense, which would you choose?
i'm still trying to decide. it really makes you think about and start to appreciate all the beautiful little things in life. the three i would definitely keep would be sight, scent & hearing, and here's why...

sight gives you the ability to see the colours and complexity, every little detail, of the sunset, or flowers. you can see the undefined colours of the ocean or the sky. you can see the expressions and emotions portrayed on someones face, the way they smile, the tone of their skin, or the gleam in their eyes.

scent gives you the ability to smell the wonderful aromas in this world. those of flowers in the spring, or your favourite food cooking in the oven in winter, the smell of freshly mown lawns or sunblock in the summer, the damp crisp smell of autumn, or even just the smell of a friends perfume when you hug them.

hearing gives you the ability to listen to, the joy in the sound of laughter, the peacefulness of the waves at the beach, the beautiful melodies of an instrument, the whisper of the wind, or the serenity of it raining on your roof whilst you're tucked up in bed.



there's a difference between looking and seeing. looking is through our eyes.
seeing is through God's.
Psalm 23:1-4

now go.

exodus 4:10-12
Moses said to the Lord "O Lord I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of spech and tongue." The Lord said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

this is not the end. this is only just the beginning.
boldly approach his throne, take what he's entrusted you with & run with it. run with it to the top of your mountains and conquer them. shine God's light from the mountain tops.
- and this is where the now go bit comes in. this is what God is telling me.
"now go & take what I have given you, take it to the lost, the broken, the unsaved. to your family, your friends, your school, your city, your nation. take one step of faith and i will do the rest for you. you are called. you are chosen. you are preordained. you have purpose, and your gift is not your own. you are blessed to be a blessing. it's not just about you anymore. now go"

overwhelmed. it's the feeling you get, kinda like when a big wave unexpectedly creeps up on you and drags you under, and it takes you by surprise so the pressure holding you down all of sudden makes you feel trapped, and you begin to panic. but then you realise there is someone much stronger who can help you in your times of distress, so you call upon the name of Jesus, and he reaches down, takes your hand and sets you back up on yor feet again. defeat is always on the verge of your victory, but Jesus always has an escape plan, he always has one more move.


life is good. life is hard. life is beautifully intricate. but i'm getting there, with the help of a Father.

food for thought.

sometimes i really just don't want to be at school. like honestly it just sucks sometimes. but then i remember that my school can't be saved and i can't make a change, if i'm not there.
the holy spirit lives in me.

If Jesus himself went out and made his name famous, then why can't we ? what are we letting hold us back? we are called to be Christ-like, to go out there and be the change we want to see. we have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, so why not ?!
you are the answer, and today is your day. there is no time like now.

take everyday as it comes, and never pass up an opportunity, because chances are it won't come around again. you'd regret not doing it more than you'd regret doing it, so go for it. God knows perfectly well what you're capable of, and he doesn't call a little person to do a big thing, so trust him.

God is limitless, so why confine him? he's not the God of the possible, but the God of the impossible, so don't put a cap on your dreams. see the unseeable, and dream the unthinkable, surrender it to God, and watch the impossible become possible, see him pathe the way for you.
your dreams & visions have purpose, pursue them.

make some noise, your sound has purpose. it's not necessarily the volume of your shout, but the power behind it.

are you facing a mountain right now? and it looks too big to conquer?
God is bigger than whatever you are facing, he's already been there and he took it to the cross. what lies behind you, and what lies before you are small matters compared to what lies within you.

so pretty much, thats whats been playing on my heart at the moment :)

love language.

my love language is a mix between words & touch.
some say actions speak louder than words, i love them both :-)


have you ever looked in the mirror and seen a stranger staring back at you?
it's funny how we're so insecure about the small things.
beauty is not skin deep, it blooms from within.
what defines you? who defines you?

God,
i'm glad that my life is in your hands
not the worlds, not my own
I'm glad that i can trust you
because you have a plan for my life,
even greater
and even when i don't know
what i am doing, or where i am going
you do
I'm glad that when all else fails,
when everyone walks out
you don't
You walk in and take my hand
When everything is bad
still, you are good
You pick me up and carry me
out of darkness
and into light
You set my feet firmly upon your rock
and guide me along your path
I'm glad that you are my father
and when i derserve judgement
you give me grace
and that you love me
no matter what.

i.want.the.cross.

what the heck just happened. flippin' heck this weekend eh.


4.25pm
14.08.10
i want the cross.
so pretty sure God just like ran me over with a truck or something, because honestly the holy spirit hit me so hard this weekend. took the breath out of me, knocked my feet from under me, and legit, i've never cried that much in my life. god took away the old hurt, pain, fear & restrictions, and replaced it with, joy, hope, life & confidence. sanks jesus.
pretty sure reggie dabbs is the man.


my friends & family better watch out. pram college won't know what hit them. kapiti will be saved. jesus is about to be unleashed. boom. town.


loving life. god is good.

home.

i've found where i belong. i am where i am supposed to be. the place i've been searching for. a place i am loved and respected for being me. a place that is friendly, welcoming, accepting, generous, positive. a place where the atmosphere rubs off and brightens your mood. a place you can't help but smile, because every time you step through the doors, you know you've come home.
i've found home.arisechurch.elevateyouth.



this weekend just gone has really opened my eyes. god just got real with me and was just straight up with a few things. gooooood.
i knew it was going to be an amazing weekend because elevate on friday was just so good. especially when levi opened up the ministry time for the highschools, something inside of me moved, i got so fired up and passionate for change in my school. then church sunday was actually flipping powerful, like from night service god just really turned up and said "yes hayley, i really can use you, i know your strengths and your weaknesses, so surrender them to me and i will use them in ways you could never imagine possible". god really can use anyone to do great things and to do his will. the bible does say, no mind can ever comprehend the plans he has for us... but actually!
so i finally let god in and realised that he can use me to make the change. goodbye restrictions, goodbye fear, goodbye devil. i am going to make god famous in my highschool no matter what the cost.
he is worthy.

this is it .

now is the time for gods people to arise
the day is here, lord your kingdom we will build
we are called for greater
we are called for more
let your love, and power
move through us.



we are in the season of revival.
people are getting tired of the worldly things failing them,
and are desperate for that perfect love.
soon we will see people worshiping god everywhere.
i am so close to seeing my friends & family saved.


come like a flood and saturate me now you're all i want.
god is calling us to live a life fully emersed in him.
it's time to recieve your gift and run with it. run with it to the highest mountain and don't stop shining gods light.
dream big, you have the potential to do anything you desire.


pick me, pick me.
god is using us to shine his light like never before.
he is the light of the world, we are his hands and feet.
i'm stepping out of fear & into faith.
we are the light of the world.
look out world, here i come.


1 corinthians 13:4-13

repent & be baptised .

wow.
pretty sure last night was the best night of my life. i've been saying that alot lately 'cause it just keeps getting better. but lastnight, flip.
they aint got nothing on baptism
i honestly feel like a whole new person

new :
faith
confidence
love
passion
outlook
fire.

now i'm pumped to see my family & highschool changed. and i know that god is in the midst of using me to do so. goooood.


" there is no fear in love. but perfect love casts out all fear" - 1 john 4:18


at first i was really nervous. like about to puke nervous. had hardout butterflies. but it totally wasn't even scary, it was probably - apart from getting god in my life - the best decision i have ever made. when they dunk you its like you come up a whole new person, you leave your past behind in the water, and feel empty once again - a good empty. an empty that has gone to the next level in god , and is ready to be filled up with him once more.

just let go , just let god.
so i get come up and wonder why i'm not crying, but then realise i was way too happy to cry. it was the best feeling in the world, i cannot even describe. first person i see, is emma, bawling her eyes out. hehe that made me happy. got prayed for, alot. the presence of god was so strong.

wow.

lifechange.

camp kinda changed my life.

god got personal with me and messed me up. it kinda hurt a little but it was for the best and i feel so much better now.

so many people surrendering their lives and their hurt. it was beautiful.

i can now finally move forward and let my past go.

nothing will stop me, god's got my back.

he told me,

"it doesn't matter what you've been through, i am your father and i will never let you down. i am always right beside you and i am so proud of you. you are my daughter, my princess, my treasure, and i love you. trust in me."

but that's the thing,

he trusts in me more than i trust in myself.
so now he's placed me in a situation where he's testing my faith,
i've asked for opportunities to make a difference in my family & highschool,
and now that he's given me them,
i'm scared.

i can do all things through christ who strengthens me
- philippians 4:13

c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g-song.

let your mess become your message ; and your test become your testimony.

i am called for even greater ;
and that is what i will do.

i'm ready .

i don't really know where i am going ; but i know it's far.